Dating

Dating

Wow.  I haven’t blogged about anything in over a year.  Time is running away from me.  Let me try talking about something potentially controversial.

So I want to consider a certain subject that most people are familiar with.

DivorceRate.org quotes someone who says that the divorce rate in first marriages is 50%, second marriages is 67%, and third marriages is 74%.  NationMaster.com has a chart that claims to show the U.S. has the highest divorce rate among the major countries in the world, although Wikipedia seems to indicate there are a couple countries with higher divorce rate than the U.S.

To me, this would seem to indicate that the method of courtship in the U.S, dating, might not be the best method for forming intimate relationships.  For years now, the news has told plenty of examples of dating gone wrong.  Wikipedia even has an article called “Dating abuse.”  And the divorce rate shows that even when dating goes well, and people get married, these people find out later that they made a mistake.  If the couple stayed together long enough to have kids, then I would think the divorce would have a really bad effect on them.

So maybe dating isn’t working and it’s time to try a different method for forming intimate relationships?  At least something that is less likely to result in dating abuse or divorce.  I guess that’s the tough thing.  How to get the right two people together to spend the rest of their lives together.  And avoid the wrong people getting together.  Otherwise, it would seem that the only people that win are the divorce lawyers.

Even if we don’t get rid of dating, maybe some changes need to be made.  Children are exposed to dating earlier and earlier.  Even elementary schools are holding dance events.  Perhaps it’s time to eliminate such events until the college level?  Allow children to learn to form relationships without being clouded by the pressure to have an intimate relationship.  I’ve heard the news say that research shows people don’t mature until age 26.  So perhaps raise the minimum age for marriage to at least 20 or 22, and maybe even set a minimum age for dating?  What if couples are required to get couples therapy before they get their marriage license?

In any case, isn’t it worth it to make sure that the right people get together?